Trevor Noah Reviews Putin’s Attempt at a Soviet Reunion

Why? Because Putin has always wanted to reunite the Soviet Union, you know?” Similar to how Disney aims to connect all of its properties. Mickey is fighting Thanos now, isn’t that interesting? That’s odd, but it’s working.” It’s TREVOR NOAH!

Vladimir Putin’s goal was to bring back the Soviet Union’s heyday, and he accomplished it. It’s a good start if people have to wait for hours in long lines.” It’s TREVOR NOAH!

One of the worst things that could happen to Russia is that they’re cutting off banking, arming their enemies, and then airlines are suspending flights to and from Russia.” Because flying out of Russia is the best part of visiting Russia. That is no longer available.” It’s TREVOR NOAH!

Trevor Noah Reviews Putin’s Attempt at a Soviet Reunion

We may be on the verge of World War III, the threat of nuclear annihilation has increased, and Europe is once again at the mercy of a ruthless dictator, but on the bright side… Covid? It’s TREVOR NOAH!

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In the Good Old Days

Trevor Noah was away from his “Daily Show” last week, so he devoted this week’s episode to the current situation in Ukraine, calling it “the largest European crisis since World War II — or when Harry and Meghan left the royals.”

Because Putin has long harboured a naive hope that the Soviet Union could be brought back together. Very much in the same vein as Disney’s stated intention to unify its various property brands. Really? Mickey has joined Thanos’s fight? That’s offbeat, but it could pay off. TREVOR NOAH

Putin’s plan all along was to restore the Soviet Union to its former splendour. Hours-long queues of people trying to get in are a good sign. T. R. Noah

I think that the airlines cancelling flights to and from Russia is one of the worst things that they’ve done, right up there with cutting off banking and arming their enemies. The nicest part about visiting Russia is, of course, leaving Russia via plane. There’s no longer even that to take away from them. TREVOR NOAH

We may be on the verge of World War III, and Europe may once again be at the mercy of a single power-hungry tyrant, but when was the last time you gave Covid a second thought, huh? TREVOR NOAH

Top-Notch Comedic One-Liners (Taking Sides Edition)

Even traditionally neutral Switzerland is now taking measures to punish Russia. The neutral Swiss are taking a stand on this. A quote from JIMMY KIMMEL:

There are tiny scissors, a toothpick, and a corkscrew on the “Swiss knife” that Switzerland has sent to Russia. STEPHEN COLBERT

As a general rule, the Swiss avoid taking part in conflicts. As a result, they avoid joining any groups. My father never showed any interest in me. When I asked him to hug me, he always declined, saying that it was against company policy to take sides. TREVOR NOAH, whose dad was born in Switzerland -German

Switzerland’s head of state has stated that, “Russia’s attack cannot be accepted under international law, this cannot be accepted politically, and this cannot be accepted ethically.” Remember, it was these folks who provided Hitler with a safe deposit box. JIMMY KIMMEL,

Let me remind you that Switzerland, which did not side with either Hitler or the Allies, is now telling Russia, “OK, you’ve gone too far.” STEPHEN COLBERT

Says one commentator, “This is like the Dalai Lama grabbing a buck knife and an AK and yelling, ‘Kill ’em all! The Buddha may decide who belongs where. STEPHEN COLBERT

Try to fathom being blacklisted by a nation that has maintained its neutrality for centuries. To put it another way, it would be like Tom Hanks telling a kid to “go [expletive] himself.” I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with you. — JAMES CORDEN

In a helpful move, they have closed Swiss airspace and frozen Russian assets. Putin is now in double jeopardy, having landed himself in both chocolate and water. JIMMY KIMMEL,

Russian forces have been defeated by the Taliban and the Swiss. Right now, the world’s most violent and least violent people are united in their opposition to Russia. JIMMY KIMMEL,

The Interesting Portions

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