Seth Meyers Explains How ‘Forever Wars’ Happen

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“Give It Some Time”

In his “Closer Look” segment on Wednesday night, Seth Meyers talked about the shaky U.S. exit from Afghanistan. He blamed the Washington elite, saying they had lied to the people for years about the chances of winning America’s longest war.

Seth Meyers Explains How ‘Forever Wars’ Happen

Meyers joked, “And that’s how ‘forever wars’ happen: People in charge just keep asking for a little more time to turn things around and then, next thing you know, it’s been 20 years and you’ve been in Afghanistan longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ book.”

When people brought up the idea of pulling out, the military-industrial complex and foreign policy elite would say that things would improve if given a few more months. It’s like when you were a kid and you said you’d return a movie you rented from Blockbuster the next day because you weren’t done with it, and then your parents asked you about it the day after that, and you said, “I just have to watch the last 20 minutes,” and now you’re 47 and you owe Blockbuster $60,000 in late fees for a VHS copy of “The Prince of Tides.” T. S. Meyers

As with telling someone at a pool party that you can see their [expletive] crack, “there was never a good time to withdraw,” which is why no president before Biden was willing to do it. Nobody wants to be the man to tell Dave to pull up his swimsuit during a game of pool volleyball. To paraphrase: — SETH MEYERS

Some of the Funniest One-Liners (Duct Tales Edition)

Guys, I read where United Airlines banned the use of duct tape on flights due to disruptive passengers. Just don’t use it. The flight attendants apparently heard and decided “Tasers it is.” To paraphrase JIMMY FALLON

Passengers on Frontier Airlines will be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter, but United is prohibited from using duct tape. In honour of JIMMY FALLON

The memo states, “Yeah, United is against using duct tape unless it is holding up one of their engines. Right there is where they say “enough is enough.” FALLON, JIMMY

Insightful Portions

On Wednesday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” guest host Sean Hayes pretended to be a doctor.

What We’re Looking Forward to This Thursday

‘SNL’ alum and guest host Cecily Strong will drop by Seth Meyers’ show on Thursday.


Meyers remarked that it took “longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ novel” for Washington elite to pull soldiers out of Afghanistan.

Meyers also criticised the finger-pointing that has gone on from former members of the Bush administration, such as former deputy chief of staff Karl Rove, who Meyers called the “architect of the presidency that brought us some of the most horrific foreign policy debacles in American history” and who blamed Vice President Joe Biden for the Taliban’s takeover of Afghanistan.

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