By playing off of the audience’s preexisting knowledge of vampire conventions, “Night Teeth” manages to make the most of the genre’s inherent ease. There’s your character arc, your stakes, and your apprehension of the sun, all in one neat little package. Instead of trying to bring anything new to the vampire mythos, this lacklustre horror-action comedy treats them like just another tired trope.
‘Night Teeth’ Review
Even though there is a lot of blood, neon, and corny lines like “I bet you donate good blood,” Jorge Lendeborg Jr.’s human character is the most interesting part of the film. He used to be a skateboarding college student who fell asleep in class, had a crush on a girl whose boyfriend made fun of him, and lived with his grandmother before he became caught up in the vampire craze.
It’s all very formulaic and Marty McFly-esque, but Lendeborg Jr. brings the right amount of neurotic comedy and the right amount of soulfulness to his peril, proving that the character archetype works. He is a formidable surrogate into the bloody Los Angeles underworld when he gets to moonlight as a driver for his brother’s driving service.
Debby Ryan’s Blaire and Lucy Fry’s Zoe are out to create mayhem and bloodshed while grinning maniacally.
While Blaire, a relatively young bloodsucker by vampire standards, has a charming demeanour, Zoe’s centuries-long history as a vampire lends an air of violent sadomasochism to her overall appearance. They inform Benny, their driver, that they had to be home before morning because they have other events to attend.
But it soon becomes clear to him that they are traditional vampires, feeding on human blood and killing anyone in their path in a mob-like attempt to seize territory from the living (more on that later) and support their “gang leader,” Victor (Alfie Allen).
Film’s Director Adam Randall
The film’s director, Adam Randall, and his crew clearly enjoy themselves while working with this horny, silly premise, and the film benefits from a few inspired touches, such as a brief action scene in which Blaire and Zoe beat up their targets in the background while our surrogate, Benny, cowers in the foreground.
Script by Brent Dillon
The script by Brent Dillon mistakenly tries to be about more than just the craziest night in Benny’s life, but the world-building here stinks. Blaire and Zoe make a move on these distinct zones, breaching rules that had fostered peace, and more. There is a lot of wordy business about five loosely defined gangs seeking to protect their loosely defined territory, some of which include vampires and others include hunters.
This world-building (most of it by characters just discussing it; horrible) drags down everything instead of improving it, like “Underworld” did with the lycans and vampires conflict throughout the franchise run.
Debby Ryan is Given the Major Type of Shorthand
Debby Ryan is given the major type of shorthand in the script during a mid-film monologue. The addition of a five-gang battle, which was meant to increase the stakes, only gave viewers more excuses to switch channels.
Even with the context being sarcastic comments about how the bloodsuckers dominate Hollywood, there is an underlying desire throughout “Night Teeth” for it to be an L.A. story. It’s when the film’s two biggest stars, Megan Fox and Sydney Sweeney, are on screen for a combined total of maybe five minutes that the film’s own superficiality becomes most glaringly apparent.
Their monotone delivery of lines about vampire business and humourless demeanour, complimented with colourful robes, demonstrate how “Night Teeth’s” little charisma can be diminished by the film’s overreliance on its background. This is an exceptionally ostentatious scene from a film that aspires to be as cutting edge as teeth ripping into a throat but falls short.
Recently added to Netflix’s streaming library.