Watching a Partner Change Is Hard. Accepting It Can Be Harder.

Because of her “fragile and needy” state, Ms Scharf said she feared that Robby would lose patience with her and want to leave because she “feared his compassion tank would run out, or he’d lose patience with me.”

According to Ms. Scharf, “facing our difficulties head-on” through therapy and leaning on friends to offset some of the support she sought from her husband has been integral to her and Mr. Scharf’s ability to accept internal and external changes in their life. Her words: “Not only did it give me new respect for him, but it also showed me what I was made of,” she continued.

In recent years, the Scharfs aren’t the only couple who’ve been through a crucible. While Jenna and Christopher had been married for five years prior to the outbreak, they had both worked in the field of hydraulic fracking engineering and reservoir simulation. The couple, who live in Calgary, Canada, went from working outside the home and expecting a second child to working from home while caring for their 3-year-old son together. After that, they had to deal with the death of their stillborn child.

Ms. Hewson said she and her husband were “both so broken and hurt” as a result of the subsequent grief.

As she put it, “We had nothing to give.” she said. Separation appeared to be the easier option following our loss.

Seeing a therapist together and then separately helped the Hewsons learn to be more patient with one another. They also did nightly check-ins after their son went to bed, which reminded them that they are on the same team, not opposing ones. According to Ms. Hewson, “half the battle is understanding and appreciating how your partner handles upheaval.” Understanding your partner’s expectations can ease a lot of frustration, disappointment, and resentment.

As a mother of a 3-year-old girl, Loren Raye and her husband Matt Bosso were affected by the pandemic in a different way than many other families, and their relationship was strained as a result. As the former host of the TJ Show on Boston’s 103.3 AMP Radio, Ms. Raye was forced to resign from her position as breadwinner for her family. He makes less money than she used to, as a music curator for iHeartMedia in Manhattan).