In order to let you sleep while we get paid to watch humour, we present to you the Best of Late Night, a recap of the evening’s highlights. You may find 50 of the best movies currently available on Netflix below.
Continued Horsing Around
Jimmy Kimmel resumed his show on Tuesday after taking the summer off.
Upon hearing this, the host remarked, “I leave you people alone for two months, you start taking horse worm medicine?”
Kimmel used the term “pan-dimwits” to describe those who have tried the drug ivermectin in the hopes of curing Covid-19. Health officials have warned that the medicine poses substantial risks to people despite the lack of proof showing that it is effective against Covid.
So, you may still get Covid, but at least you have a shot at the Preakness! Author: STEPHEN COLBERT
People are taking livestock medicine to combat the coronavirus, but many refuse to get vaccinated, leading to an increase in calls to poison control centres across the country. It’s the equivalent of saying, “No, I don’t want a cheeseburger; give me that can of Alpo instead,” if you’re a vegan. From the mind of JIMMY KIMMEL
To top it all off, it has a terrible flavour. The good news is that there is no shortage of suggestions online for improving the taste, such as adding jellies or putting it on a sandwich. Or, use it as horsey sauce and drizzle it over roast beef. Author: STEPHEN COLBERT
“For a horse’s [expletive],” it even states on the label. Author: STEPHEN COLBERT
Ivermectin is preferred by some Sea Biscuits in part because they have little faith in “big pharma.” Which is good, except that Merck, the world’s fourth-largest pharmaceutical corporation, manufactures ivermectin. From the mind of JIMMY KIMMEL
Let me tell you something: if a medication firm begs you not to use their product, you should probably take them up on it. Alternatively, you may watch a TikTok that was uploaded by a discredited veterinarian. From the mind of JIMMY KIMMEL
But in the meantime, those poor equines are all, “Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. Does it make any sense that I would say, “My butt is full of worms?” From the mind of JIMMY KIMMEL
Best and Funniest Punchlines (Worst Butt Dial Ever Edition)
And lastly, I heard about how a man who swallowed a Nokia telephone was able to have it surgically removed. All the youngsters felt terrible about themselves. For example: “Dad, next time try to eat an iPhone.” JIMMY FALLON
He reportedly vomited up a Nokia phone. “Choke-ia phone” is more accurate. By JAMES CORDEN.
Because of the water damage to his phone, he was advised to place it in a bowl of rice as soon as possible, but by that time, he had already eaten all of his rice. JAMES CORDEN.
Worse, after four days, the man still hadn’t received any alerts. JIMMY FALLON
That’s why I always, always, buy the 10-foot extension chord. Even though it costs a little bit more, you’ll be glad you shelled out the extra cash once you’ve “got it.” To paraphrase JAMES CORDEN:
Man responds to reporter’s request for remark by saying, “I didn’t swallow it; it was the worst butt dial ever.” JIMMY FALLON
Essential Portions to Watch
On Tuesday’s “Late Night,” Amber Ruffin argued for a nationally subsidised pedicure and criticised Texas’s new abortion ban.
What We’re Looking Forward to This Wednesday
Wednesday’s “Late Show” will feature an interview between Stephen Colbert and “The Chair” star Holland Taylor.
