How to Rearrange Your Post-Pandemic ‘Friendscape’

Foreground buddies necessitate daily or weekly care, so there are only a certain number of places available (four to six, maximum). Your significant other, parent, sibling, or child may fill some of these roles. Foreground buddies have the greatest influence on your health and well-being since they are in the spotlight.

Having unhappy or obese friends, as well as those who smoke or drink often, all increase your chances of becoming one of these things yourself. The opposite is also true: You’ll be more studious, kind, and ambitious if you spend time with individuals who are. To be clear, this does not imply that you should turn your back on friends who are going through tough times.

As long as the bulk of your time is spent with people whose beliefs and attitudes you admire and who share your interests, you’ll be more inclined to adopt those values and attitudes into your own.

Good foreground friends have certain characteristics. You feel better about the world and about yourself as a result. Even if they don’t always agree with what you’re saying, your friends and family are there for you. Mutuality and reciprocity in terms of assisting and engagement are evident in the community. And most importantly, you and they both enjoy one other’s company.

People who don’t seem genuinely happy when something positive happens to you and show a gleam of schadenfreude when things go wrong aren’t worthy of your attention. This can be shown by their tendency to talk about oneself rather than the subject at hand; they are either self-righteous, self-absorbed, or prickly.

Also, stay away from anyone who doesn’t stand up for you when someone else makes false accusations against you or worse, builds on top of those accusations.

“It may be you, not necessarily the other person, who’s making the connection unbalanced” and unhappy,” says Susan Heitler, a psychologist and author of “The Power of Two,” a book about friendship in the setting of marriage.

Without being a good friend, it’s impossible to have friends who are kind to you. When are you most likely to get in touch with a person? Are you the argumentative kind, or do you prefer to speak about yourself? Your friend’s happiness is at risk because of what you say or do. Is it possible that you’re being overly demanding? Judgmental? How would you describe yourself?

No one can be a perfect friend all of the time, for sure. All of us have had our share of less-than-stellar moments. As long as both of you are able to work past intentional and inadvertent snubs, you’ve got a solid friendship.